A gravestone is one of the few physical places where a life is still held.
A name. A date. A marker that says: someone was here, and someone mattered.
Cleaning a stone isn’t about making it look new. It’s about care. It’s a way of honoring someone you love in a culture that doesn’t offer many ways to do that after the funeral is over.
People come to this work for many reasons. Sometimes they live far away and want someone to tend a loved one’s grave. More often, they live nearby and have meant to do something for years — but didn’t know how, or didn’t want to do it alone. There might be an anniversary coming up, a transition in your life, or simply a feeling that it’s time.
I clean stones slowly and by hand, using gentle, biodegradable materials and soft brushes — never power washing or harsh chemicals. I take my time. I pay attention. I treat the work like it matters, because it does.
If you’d like, this can also be a shared experience. I offer gravestone tending as a quiet, guided remembering — one-on-one or with a small group. We clean the stone together and make space to share stories, speak names, and honor what’s been lost and what remains. You don’t need the right words. I’ll hold the container so you can simply show up.
This work is about staying in relationship — with memory, with place, with love. If it’s calling to you, I’ll meet you there.
Graveside Tending & Remembering
Hudson, NY area
This offering is about remembering. Some people want someone to tend a gravestone on their behalf. Others want to be there — to clean the stone, speak the name, and mark a moment that still matters. This work makes space for both, but at its heart is shared presence.
Graveside tending is a way to honor someone you love when words feel thin and time keeps moving. It’s especially meaningful around anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, or seasons when the absence feels sharper.
I clean each stone slowly and by hand using D/2 Biological Solution — a gentle, biodegradable treatment used for historic cemeteries — along with soft, non-invasive brushes. I never power wash or use harsh chemicals. I move at the pace of care, not efficiency.
If you choose to join me, we tend the stone together. I guide the pacing and hold the container so there’s room to share memories, speak what’s been held quietly, or simply work side by side in silence. There’s no right way to be present. You don’t need to prepare anything or know what to say.
Before cleaning, I create a small, temporary seasonal altar — a simple offering to mark intention and presence. Altars have long been used to acknowledge transition; this one is brief, but the gesture carries weight.
After the visit, you’ll receive before-and-after photos of the stone, a photo of the altar, and a short written reflection from the tending — what I noticed, what felt present, any detail worth carrying forward.
Pricing reflects the time, care, and condition of the stone. A standard, hour-long graveside tending or shared remembering begins at $125 for a typical stone without significant organic growth; larger, older, or more weathered stones that require additional time are priced accordingly. If you’d like, you can send a photo in advance and I’ll offer a clear recommendation before we schedule. I also hold a small number of community spots each season for local families who want this care but need flexibility around cost. No explanation required — just ask.
